Day 15: The Worst Thing

There are a lot of worst things in life. Some as simple as putting a brussel sprout in your mouth and some much much more complex because they involve the ones that you love the most. My worst thing so far was watching the man that I love more then anything in this world almost leave this world in an ER room this past weekend. It is tough for me to type this... so I am sorry if it gets a little jumbled. This was probably the only moment in my life where I actually preferred the brussel sprouts.

It started out with us having an awesome time watching his brother DJ at a fairly awesome place in Philly. Good music, a few good drinks (one bad drink...Rock and Rye), and quality time with his brother were all that we needed. We drove home super happy that we had this awesome night and were super stoked for a picnic we were having with our friends the next day. Nothing seemed out of the least to me. I am sure it was very different for John.

Things did a complete 180 when we got home. His chest started to really hurt, he couldn't breathe, and he wasn't making any sense with his words. He thought he was having a heart attack and I thought he was having a stroke. My world started to swirl around me in a panicked desperation. I couldn't really understand what he was trying to tell me no matter how hard I listened. I was frustrated. The sad thing was, that he was so sure he was making sense to me in his head but the words that were coming out of his mouth were all jumbled so I couldn't honestly understand didn't matter we got in the car and I literally drove 90 mph and hour to the hospital to get him there on time.

Everything happened so fast. The only thing that I fully remember is walking into the emergency room, looking at his lips turning blue, sweat pouring out of his body, and being told by several doctors to call his family immediately.

This should have been easy but John forgot his phone. I didn't have any of his family members numbers. 411 wasn't helping. I called my parents. I called Jen. It was a mess. I was a mess but Jen was on her way and my Mom finally found his father's apartment number. Everyone was on their way. I was still a mess crying hysterically outside the hospital because I just couldn't understand what happened in such a short amount of time to a super healthy person. It didn't make sense and it wasn't fair. I also didn't know what I would do without him.

Thank karma, god, the universe... whomever you want to thank, I mostly want to thank the kind words, support and concern of every single one of our friends because you all made us smile and keep up hope through everything. Two days in the hospital under some of the best care and John is now home and feeling just fine. Luckily it is something that is curable and most likely will not come back in the future. We really are lucky, we feel really lucky. Mostly, I am lucky that I got to take him back home.


  1. got teary eyed reading this. I'm happy he went back home safe with you too, Steph!


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