Sunday, July 17, 2011

My Big Mouth

I have a big mouth and it gets me into trouble all of the time.

Most of you perfectly functioning beautiful people have those amazing little sensors or red flags that pop up in your heads to warn you that what you are thinking should absolutely NOT come out of your mouth. I do not. I just do not have this capability.

Here is how my thinking process goes:

Good Thought --> Out Mouth = Happy Result
Bad Thought --> Out Mouth = What Have I Done

Here is how it is supposed to go:

Good Thought --> Think About It --> Out Mouth = Happy Result

Bad Thought --> Think About It --> !!KEEP INSIDE!! = Happy Result

How does one learn this process? How does one force oneself to think before a rank pile of verbage flows from ones flawed mouth? There are so many situations where I could have and should have had that 3 seconds of thought and saved myself years of regret!

Anyone else have this problem?

Saturday, July 16, 2011


"I guess I will just get married because that is what you are supposed to do at my age and when you have been dating someone for some time, right?"

Read that again.

No no! I didn't go running off scared into the big wide world of nope not getting married anymore nor does this phrase reflect how John and I feel about it at all so you can all breathe now. Your welcome!  However this phrase has been creeping up a lot amongst my internet and IRL friends and with me going on that magical marriage journey, I cannot ignore this kind of thinking because it is so freaking dumb. Like, really really dumb guys.

Marriage is something you do because you reach a certain age or because you have been dating the same person for a while? What? I mean unless you want to pay sick amounts of alimony 10 years down the line and be a miserable pile of I like not thinking AND making stupid life decisions, then why would you think this? Am I missing something here? The 1950's have come and gone, this is not how people think in 2011 nor should it be how you think ever.

When John and I decided to get married one, we knew that we loved each other more then anything and it was getting stronger with each passing day and two,  no sane person would sign up to be with either one of us if we were single again. We were definitely made for each other, soul mates. If you are bored or feel trapped in a relationship that is not growing each day and full of a love you can't explain with words then why would this ever be an option? Getting married doesn't solve problems, honestly it just gives you more!

Ok sure! Let's do it your way because it is awesome. Just take your life-sucking stagnant "relationship" and "fix it" with marriage. Heck, have a few kids, buy a house and become even more miserable, broke and loveless until you can't take it anymore and rip your family apart with divorce ruining not only your life but innocent children's lives as well.

That is some Hallmark card Life channel gold right there!

Also, these people must have horrible friends and family. No GOOD friend or family member would ever let something like this come to fruition. WTF, man.